Stay on you
My teacher, Jean Ferrandis, said this to us all the time.
Stay on you. Be on you. On you.
There was a lot of meaning behind those small words. He was conveying many of the complex aspects of making music.
Stay true to yourself. There's no need to try too hard, to try SO hard. Physically, be present to yourself and stay in a neutral posture. Be in the moment.
Like many advanced aspects of making music, staying "on you" requires physical and mental aptitude, sharpened and precise physical and mental skills. It also requires you to stay neutral and to be in the moment.
It took me a long time to fully understand this concept, and even longer to begin to integrate it so that I could, sometimes, stay on me when I was playing the flute. (Until I became distracted or started trying way too hard again).
Not surprisingly, although eventually I was able to understand and begin embodying this instruction, as I've matured and continued to grow as a musician I have found new meaning and new layers to staying on me.
This concept is mental - it asks us to create a very detailed and clear picture of what the music is going to do, exactly how it will sound, and where it is headed. It is in many ways, an advanced visualization exercise. You must spend the time and effort to know what you want from the music and how you will sound when you play it. Then, to fully execute this visualization you must continue to think ahead as you are playing - what is coming next? How will it sound?
*You can try this as a long tone exercise.:
Begin on say, a B natural above the staff, if you are a flutist. (If you play a different instrument, pick a note that is near the top of your middle register and allows you room to come down chromatically without getting too low.)
Before you make any kind of sound, imagine vividly what it will sound like if you play this note with your best tone and your freest air.
Play the note only once you have fully imagined the sound and physical feeling it will create..
As you play the B natural, visualize the next note, B flat, in the same way. Once you have a clear picture then you can move to the B flat.
If the next note doesn't meet the expectations of your mental picture, go back and try it again.
Doing this well takes a lot of mental training. To be able to be in the moment and ahead of it is not necessarily an inherent skill.
This concept of remaining on you is also physical - it asks us to stay neutral in our stance, in our posture, and in the way we hold our instrument. Have you ever really watched a classical musician prepare to play? Many take a lot of extra and unnecessary movements which ultimately create a lot of tension. Even more take an aggressive forward stance or shift their weight so it becomes uneven. It's almost like we're preparing for a fight.
*You can experiment with this in a simple way:
Leave your instrument on a stand or table close to you and address your stance.
Find your anatomical neutral (I have post about this here).
Lift your arms as if you were going to hold your instrument and observe how your body changes. Does it create tension? Do you suddenly find yourself holding your hips in an unnatural way? Maybe your craning your neck?
Keep doing this and removing the unwanted tension or movements.
Once you're able to sustain anatomical neutral as you mimic holding your instrument, pick up your physical instrument. (You many automatically notice you are not "on you" - flutists, for example often bend their elbows and hold the flute close to their chest at rest with "T-rex arms.")
Repeat the exercise holding your instrument - can you go from holding it at rest (truly, at rest) to a playing position without becoming unnatural in your posture?
Then, see if you can maintain staying "on you" as you play a note. Often, we need to repeat the exercise for the act of breathing in, and the act of playing.
Both of these exercises bring us much closer to staying on ourselves as we play, in mindset and in the physicality of playing. This is how I began to understand Jean's instruction.
The other meaning he intended was to encourage us to use our own voice - to not only imitate or feel pressured to be or sound like anyone else.
But, I don't think that this instruction stops after these three major points. As I mentioned, I continue to find ways to explore this concept.
One of the great things about playing an instrument is the way we can tie it in to other interests we have, or that we can bring outside interests into our music and practice. An obvious example for me is my interest in yoga and meditation. There are unending ways I can use what I am learning about these pursuits in my flute playing.
Recently, I was doing a guided meditation where the teacher emphasized that it's important to make sure that you are truly feeling physical sensations, not just thinking about them.
How often do we do this playing our instruments? I know that, personally, I overanalyze many of the physical aspects of playing, even the ones that I have practiced into subconscious ability. I'm sure that my brain is in overdrive when I perform and practice in many unnecessary ways.
Think about your own practice:
Let's say you are missing a large interval. You've gone through all the tips and instructions your teacher gave you and you are still missing it.
Have you paid attention to how it feels?
Play the interval some more. Allow yourself to miss it and notice what it feels like.
What would it need to feel like to get it? Imagine that feeling in detail.
Trust yourself to reach the note, stay on you and try again.
Often, by trusting ourselves and immersing ourself in the sensations we can find solutions to our problems, become more fluid, or create a better phrase. There are many applications of this approach.
Staying on you when you play your instrument asks a lot of you. It asks you to stay mentally engaged in the current moment, to visualize in detail what is coming, to physically remain neutral, not overexert in mind or action, and yet to stay engaged in the physical sensation of what you are doing.
Listed like this, these concepts can seem complex and daunting. However, when you break them down you'll find that by staying on you you are simplifying your actions and pulling away layers of unnecessary habits you have built as you tried to be a better musician. There's nothing wrong with what you did previously, but maybe those habits are not serving you anymore.
The only way to truly share your music is to be on you.